Everyday I start here, to dump my grief so to speak. Then I try to go about my day and do normal things. Today I am here to dump anger. I am really angry with you, Zachary. You had no right to do this to us; especially on Christmas morning. You will never know how you have devastated us. What should have been a happy day turned to heartache so quickly. It hit like a freight train. The few hours you were missing were torture but having the answer turned out to be worse. You have always been so kind hearted and gentle. You wouldn’t even kill bugs for me, but catch them and take them outside. You could not stand the sight of our cats toying with their prey even though it is the natural life-cycle. It makes me angry that you did this horrible, unspeakable, cruel thing to “the girl”. How dare you?! If she lives to be 100, she will never get that image out of her mind. How could you do that to someone you say you loved so much? You said you were going to marry her! It isn’t fair that you are resting in the arms of Jesus while the rest of us are left here to mourn and “she” is left in torment from what “she” witnessed. It pisses me off to see your baby brother so hurt; your sisters all trying to hide thier grief and be brave. You forced us feel your absence and clean up the mess you left behind. Dying is only easy for the deceased person. I have to go through probate and close your bank accounts and try to have your student loans forgiven and a million other things. Though I will always love you, right now I just want to kick your ass!