You haunt my dreams and fill my thoughts. You cause my heart to break and my soul to yearn. There are no words to describe the level of missing you these days. I feel that no one understands. I feel that no one misses you as much as I do; that no one can possibly hurt as much as I hurt from your absence. Life goes on; it swirls all around me and I do get caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities that cannot be ignored; but when no one is looking I still fall to pieces. I still get angry, I still question everything, I still try to analyze everything, I still feel raw with pain. Every day I make the choice to keep going without you here. Every day it is still a struggle to make that choice. I am drowning but then suddenly my head is once again above water. Survival~it doesn’t come easy but it comes.


One response to “Survival

  1. Grief is lonely. In my experience grief to a suicide loss is especially isolating.
    I’m now 2 1/2 years into my grief. I’m not sure if this is as good as it gets or perhaps there is more healing yet to come.
    We are forever changed.
    I am both weaker and stronger than I ever imagined I’d have to be.


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