Well, Greenville Technical College is back in session today. My two online classes are available and I have two classes on campus. I really hate on campus classes. I prefer to stay in my bubble and self-teach. But I have come this far so I need to finish what I started. I should graduate in spring with an Associates Degree in Administrative Office Technologies w/Medical Concentration. This will qualify me to manage a medical office. I will also have a Certificate in Small Business Accounting. I am not sure why I tacked this on except that I didn’t want to waste two semesters taking one class each. GTC doesn’t offer every class, every semester. Some classes are only offered in Fall and others only in Spring. The certificate will just back up all my previous experience I suppose. I have been doing bookkeeping for most of my life, so now my skills will be validated.
I started this journey mostly for Zachary. I hope he can see what I have accomplished from the other side of this life. He was my biggest cheerleader and I hope I have done him proud. I only wish he was here to see it and have a degree of his own.
In the beginning of my journey, I took over Zachary’s bedroom to use as my school room. It was peaceful. For whatever reason, last semester, I could no longer sit in there. It almost feels like he was pushing me out. But that doesn’t make any sense. He never pushed me out. We were so close and I thought I knew him so well. I guess you never really know a person 100%, through and through. If had only seen what was coming, I would have moved mountains to stop it.
There are no adequate words to describe the hole in my heart from his absence nor to describe the constant grief that I live with. I feel like I am the true definition of a survivor, but some days I don’t want to survive. The weight of burden I carry gets so heavy that some days I just wish I could lay it down. But that isn’t possible. Fate dealt me these rotten cards and it is up to me to at least bluff my through playing out my hand.