About Zachary

My precious Zachary was born 10/13/1992. He was my first born. As a little guy, he was funny and had a flair for the drama. He loved to dress up in various costumes. In middle school, he went through the typical struggles in finding himself but we made it through. In high school, he shined on stage in lots of plays. Drama was obviously his thing! Goth was also his thing; he was famous for his Tripp pants which he wore long after the fad faded away. After high school, he attended our local community college. He wanted to be a tattoo artist. He loved all forms of the fine arts. He loved to sketch, he played multiple instruments, he wrote music, he wrote lyrics, he acted in plays and also performed improv when he had the chance.

I loved his brand of humor. Not everybody got his jokes. He never failed to make me laugh or at least smile with his quick wit and sarcasm.  It was just the two of us at home one day and I was sick with a stomach bug. I informed him that it was his duty to hold my hair while I puked. He looked at me so seriously and as he rolled a hair band off his wrist said “Mom, I have a friend I would like to introduce you to. His name is hair band and he will be happy to help you. I, on the other hand, am going back to my room.” It make me laugh even though I felt so badly.

Zachary had such a kind soul and gentle heart. I will never understand why he chose Christmas Day to end his life. The entire month of December we had such fun together. We Christmas shopped and I helped him wrap all the gifts he had purchased for others. One of the last shopping trips we made, there was a young woman who appeared roughly his age standing on the side of the road. She was holding a cardboard sign that read “My girls are hungry”. He insisted that I pull over so he could give her the last $3 in his wallet. It did not surprise me; that was the true character of my son. I wish I could find that young woman and let her know that his final act of kindness was for her.

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14 responses to “About Zachary

  1. Mellissa- Thank you for finding me. I am a new follower of your blog, as many people have told me, keep writing. I write for myself, mostly, but also for anyone that might find some bit of solace in my ramblings. As do you, I suspect. Be well, find as much peace each day as you can. I know how difficult that is, believe me.

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    • I noticed we lost our sons just days apart. I will keep you in my prayers. Hopefully, our writing will help with the healing process.

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    • My son took his life on Christmas Day. We cremated him and his service was not until January 18. I am still trying desperately to figure out life without him. He still lived at home so the void he left is as large as the universe itself. This new life of one less sucks.

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      • Hi Melissa: I only just found your blog. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our son Braeden, Jan. 22, 2013. He lived at home too so I understand about that extra void thats left. Braeden also took his own life he was 19. In spite of my wife, my other son, my grand kids, my friends, my psychologist, my counsellors, I still feel so alone I can hardly continue on. I hope that we might be able to ‘chat’ a bit it might help. (you – me) If not that ok. Sorry for your loss. David.

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  2. I love reading about your Zackary. His humor reminds me of my son, Brandon. He was a cut up, always making all around him laugh. I am glad I got to know a little about your precious son. I am here for you.

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  3. Oh Melissa, I am so very sorry that you are living without Zackary. Although she talked about getting her own place, Amy still lived at home too. She collapsed here too. My home is so empty without her. I feel your pain. I truly do.

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  4. I feel like our sons would have been great friends. My son also had a quick wit and sarcastic streak. In fact, as he polished his sarcasm, I found it increasingly difficult to tell when he was having me on. But we always made each other laugh. William was a theater “techie”, he loved building and designing things. His creativity was astounding. And he, too, always had an extra hair band or four on his wrist. I talked him into cutting his hair a few weeks before he died, after we’d burned through yet another belt on the vacuum cleaner, but forgot this fact and bought him an extra large package of hair bands a few days later. I tossed them to him, and he threw them back at me, saying “Mom!” in that disgusted tone of voice. I said, “what?” and then I looked at him and it took like a solid 5 seconds before it had sunk in that his hair was too short for hair bands. Then we both cracked up laughing. I still have to fight the urge to buy hair bands when I see them on sale, even though William has been gone for 8 months now.
    I know the pain that you are going through is horrible, and I am so sorry that you have to suffer this great loss. It’s just not fair.

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    • What a wonderful memory. My Zachary would have found that amusing. When he had long hair we teased him about having “hair bows” instead of calling them hair bands.

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  5. Pingback: About Zachary | Journeys Through Grief Newsletter Blog

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